Thursday, September 9, 2010
Pengumuman
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Divorce and Separation – What it means to kids
In many cases, parental divorces are not calm procedures and may involve squabbles and heated exchanges. In such situations, children usually tend to blame themselves for the current situation that he or she gets to see around.
A divorce usually means the failure of an institution called marriage and subsequently a relationship that was meant for life. When a child witnesses such breaks in relationship, he usually tends to lose credibility in human relationships and the society as a whole.
Due to divorce, children may be expected to move to a different environment from the one in which they have been living so far. For them, this could mean losing some of their best friends.
As often, the children are not consulted during the divorce of their parents; children tend to start feeling less important as an individual. They start becoming silent spectators and a passive witness to the whole drama called divorce.
Effects of Parental Divorce on Children
Divorce of parents can affect the emotional stability and development of a child. The effect of divorce may be varied depending on the child’s age, gender, extent of maturity, the type of support he has received so far etc. Usually, girls can handle parent divorce better than boys. Let us have a look at some of the effects of divorce on children:
One of the common effects of parental divorce on children is that they begin to believe that they are responsible for the divorce of their parents. This affects them emotionally to a great extent and if, they do not receive timely support, their emotional development may be stunted.
Divorce means separation of the child from either one or both of his parents. This may lead to a feeling of alienation in the child and may also cause the child to become socially inactive. Thus, the child may not feel inclined to mix with other children and may become introverted.
Also, the child may be afraid to voice his opinions to his parents as he believes that he was responsible for the divorce.
Many times, the children are not consulted when their parents are getting divorced. This may add to the child’s feeling of alienation.
It has been observed that individuals whose parents have divorced in their childhood tend to be more violent and have a tendency to be rebellious in nature. This is not necessarily true for all children who have faced parental divorce but has been observed in many of the cases.
Individuals who have faced parental divorce in their childhood have greater likelihood of drug abuse, alcoholism etc.
They may also have a tendency of taking impulsive decisions later in their life and being impatient in nature.
The concept of divorce is too big an idea for children to digest. This may have a negative impact on their academics
As the children tend to turn more independent during and after parental divorce due to lack of trust in others, it is likely that they will not enter successful marital or platonic relationships later in their lives.
Some of the children may fall prey to psychological disorders and may show poor physical health as well.
What can be done to Avoid Problems Faced by Children during Parental Divorce?
It has been studied over time that divorce leads to child delinquency if not handled properly. Parents should try and give enough support to the child during and after divorce. It proves to be helpful if the child stays in contact with both his parents even after the divorce. The parents should also avoid arguing and abusing each other in front of the child.
Divorced Dating: What About The Kids?
In preparing to begin dating after a divorce, the main area in which you should take your children into consideration is in ensuring that they are receiving enough of your time and attention. While dating is an important part of your newly-single life, it is equally important that you not neglect yourchildren while doing so. They need to know that you still care about them, they need to know that you are still interested in their lives; and for your new experiences to be beneficial to all concerned in the long-run, you must learn to achieve a sense of balance between your home and family life and your social life.
Granting your children plenty of your time and attention is the first part; making it clear that your social life is separate from them is the second part. Allowing your children to socialize with your casual dates is a recipe for disaster, and it is never a good idea for either them or you. Depending on which side of the dating issue your children are standing, they will either try to scare off dates whom they do not like or form attachments and relationships with those whom they'd like to see as your new partner. It is unfair to have your children in such a role, and it is counterproductive to your dating experiences as a new single.
Dating with Children
On other pages of our web-site we pay special attention on how to cope with children after divorce. No matter who is a "guilty" part - kids are those who suffer the most from parents separation. Special attention is needed when it comes to new relationships and dating with a new partner. Dating with children brings new set of challenges and unexpected issues. That's why we encourage to read carefully posted articles about dating with children, find more about kids emotions during and after parents divorce, on how to behave when a new person comes into kids' life.
The same thing is about you starting to date someone having kids. You need to know how to build relatiosnhips with the children of your new partner. If your dating becomes serious, relationships with the children of dating partner may become a crucial factor to build a mutual future.
Dialogue 1
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Mencari padang itu
sudah lama ia basah
biarkan kerana harus
buangkan saja semua sisa
sampah itu pasti busuk kalau disimpan
baik diluputkan dari berulat
sekurang - kurangnya ia masih boleh dikitar
menjadi objek yang lebih berguna
aku berjalan menjeling keliling sudut
dipenuhi manusia hipokrasi
sehingga tertutup ruangan lensa ini
mana satukah yang masih berhati
hanya otak yang tinggal untuk aku berfikir
padang apakah yang aku berdiri
padang ini kotor, jijik dan menjelikkan
percaya ada padang lain lebih baik tapi dimana
berikan aku cahaya untuk sampai ke padang itu
akan aku jadikan padang itu hijau
hidup segar dengan oksigen
di dalam gengaman tangan ini
Shah Alam
13 April 2010